Anime Challenge #3

Anime Challenge #3 - contributed by Karen

Weiss [Aya, Ken, Yohji, and Omi] vs. Saiyuki [Sanzo, Hakkai, Gojyo, and Goku] vs. the Suzaku Seven [Tamahome, Chichiri, Hotohori, Mitsukake, Chiriko, Tasuki, and Nuriko] vs. the guys from Ranma [Ranma, Ryouga, Kuna and Mossue] in a battle royale (anything goes)... what would the possible outcomes be? What about in a beauty contest? Or any cross team (not of the same series) shonen-ai pairings?

Christy's Answer:
Each of the teams are told about the Anything goes battle royale and the beauty contest which will be held simultaneously, and are told that they need to have at least one representative to each contest. Hotohori “humbly” excuses himself from the crude violence and is off to the beauty contest, with Nuriko following closely behind to provide his support (and a back-up). Chiriko points out that their team way outnumbers the other teams. He and Mitsukake sit out, with Mitsukake agreeing to provide what healing he can.
Over at the flower shop they draw straws to determine who is going to end up at the beauty contest. Suddenly Omi discovers that the person hosting the beauty contest had a hand in Persia’s death, and takes it as a personal vengeance thing. He puts on a halter shirt and runs out without telling the others he’s going.
No one from Furinkan High wants to go to the beauty contest and all try to splash each other with water to be able to get to the battle first. Ranma stays dry and gets a head start, but the others get switched back, and all run off to the battle. It’s a race! However, Ryoga gets so hopelessly lost he ends up at the beauty contest by mistake.
Gojyo agrees to do the beauty contest, just so he can get away from the annoying little monkey for a while. Besides, the judges could be chicks.
At the battle:
Round 1: First up is Ranma vs. Tasuki vs. Yohji vs. Tasuki vs. Goku. Goku calls forth his nyoi-bou. Ranma steals Kuno’s Kendo sword, and Kuno growls at him. Yohji settles in the corner of the ring for a quiet smoke, perfectly willing to let the others take out some of the competition first. Mossue tries to take the opportunity that Ranma is distracted to launch a surprise attack on him, but he is not wearing his classes and ends up facing off with Ken by mistake. Ranma and Goku are going at it, and Ken is managing to lead Mossue back towards the main fray when Tasuki uses the Rekka Shinen technique with his tessen. Hakkai leaps in just in time with a shield for Goku, and Ranma, Ken and Mossue get caught in the fire. Yohji turns the hose on them to put Ken out (well, the fire) and Ranma, now transformed, turns to Tasuki shouting “What’d you do that for?” A ducky Mossue flies off because he thinks he hears Shampoo’s bike. Kuno sees the pigtailed girl before him and goes nuts. At that time Akane also shows up and accuses Ranma of being mean and sending Ryoga to the wrong place. Akane huffs off and Ranma follows her and Kuno starts to follow the pair of them until Sanzo makes a snide comment about Ranma (girl-type), and Kuno takes it upon himself to defend her honor. That leads into....
Round 2: Kuno vs. Sanzo vs. Tamahome vs. Aya. Kuno goes straight after Sanzo, but stops when Sanzo pulls his gun. Kuno suddenly decides that he should go after the pigtailed girl and Akane. Tamahome and Aye fight. Tamahome gets scratched up. Suddenly Miaka’s voice calls out from the nether worlds and the Suzaku guys are panicked. She’s in trouble at the beauty contest. Chichiri pulls Tamahome, Tasuki, Mitsukake and Chiriko through his hat and they forfeit their place in the battle royale.
Round 3: Hakkai and Goku vs. Ken and Yohji. But Yohji has wandered off because he has heard there may be pretty (underage) girls at the beauty contest. Plus, Ranma and Akane headed that way. Aya fills in for Yohji, grudgingly. Sanzo sits back and watches. During the first few minutes Aya knocks off Goku’s demon power limiter and Goku spazes. At the same time info arrives that Aya’s sister has been mysteriously removed from the hospital. Aya leaves. Ken gets his butt soundly beat by Goku and Hakkai figures out that Aya just managed to hit the claps on Goku’s headband. Hakkai subdues Goku enough that Sanzo can slap the inhibiter on him. His first words are “I’m hungry. Hey wasn’t the prize for the battle food?” Sanzo corrects him, that is the prize for the beauty contest. Goku runs to the beauty contest, Hakkai and Sanzo following. A bloodied Ken is all that remains at the ring.
Meanwhile, at the beauty contest:
Akane shows up and finds P-chan and cuddles him to her chest. Ranma hits P-chan (for taking the easy way out), and then enters the beauty contest himself. Akane, offend by a comment Ranma made, also enters. Miaka and the S7 are preparing Hotohori and Miaka was going to join too, but now she is tending to the wounded Tamahome. She had called them here because Hotohori didn’t have enough hair dressers.
Yohji and Gojyo talk about women and the poor selection here, and then share a smoke.
When the contest finally takes place, Nuriko wins hands down, even though he didn’t officially enter. Omi broods; the information he had was a false lead and he and Yohji go to leave, but suddenly raving fan girls (a la Pants) appear, with Mossue and Aya and a bloodied Ken.
After thoroughly kicking Miaka’s butt, they send her and Akane on their way.
The fan girls start making shonen-ai couples, but unfortunately they can’t agree. Soon they start claiming different fighters/contestants as their own, and much argument ensues. They finally work out a time-share among them to keep the men as their own harems, assassin groups, priestess groups, minions, bishonen captors and shonen-ai pairs.
Alas, Tamahome and Miaka are banished never to be seen again, and Ranma and Kuno don’t make it into anyone’s group, nor do Chiriko or Mitsukake (they leave to return to the mountain) and Ranma and Akane are locked in a room together until they finally get along and stop being annoying, and Kuno goes home.

Send me your answers at: safetypants (AT) hotmail (DOT) com