by Christy Shorey and you

ARCHIVE: NOV. 12 edited for spelling and grammar

3034 words

Logan watched the variety of emotions play over Lacey's face as she took in what he said. Telling her about the memories of past lives was actually the easiest revelation he could have made - much easier to believe than his belief that something or someone had sent him on this seemingly eternal spiral from life to life, or that this thing or person seemed to manifest in these lives. Much easier than explaining about how he borrowed other people's dreams to search for the cause of his own personal hell.

The biggest surprise, for both of them, was the fact that somehow Lacey's touch seemed to bring him out of these memories. He hadn't exactly meant to tell her that, but as he was talking with her about the dreams, the room had once more started to fade, and Lacey had been replace with an unusual creature - but not unfamiliar, as Logan wanted to say. In the dream he knew exactly what the creature was, even though it had no context in his modern life. But Lacey had touched him before he could get his thoughts together, and he remembered he was in the middle of a conversation with her.

Now she sat, having removed her hand from his knee, and was looking at her fingers in disbelief. She clinched her fingers, and her face settled into a determined look. Logan's stomach also clenched, afraid of what she had decided. Afraid that this could be the end. Had he revealed too much to the wrong person? The feeling that the cause of his troubles was near had been growing the past weeks.

"Okay," Lacey said, still keeping her eyes on her hand. "So you believe you have these past lives, and while I'm not sure I can believe it, yet, you think that somehow I am connected to them, or at least to stopping you from getting carried away in them." She turned her gaze to meet his eyes.

Logan nodded. "Essentially that's it, yes."

Lacey's lips twitched into a small smile. "Either what you are telling me is the truth, or you have some weird pick-up lines."

The comment surprised Logan, and he was sure it showed on his face because her smile got bigger.

"Of course there is only one logical solution at this point. You have said that your past memories are getting worse and, as you evidenced earlier, may leave you catatonic or may occur at times that would leave you in peril. And we have just demonstrated that my touch is a "cure" as it were, for this state, that it brings you back. Right?"

Logan nodded unsure where she was going with her reasoning.

"So, the logical solution is that I remain with you as much as possible, to be on hand to bring you out of any dangerous state you may find yourself in by my all-powerful touch." She gave him another smile, tossing her blonde hair and green tinted locks from her face. "So did you want me to move in with you, or did you want to come to my place?"

"What-" Logan shook his head. "No, I mean, I didn't mean it like that."

"But you don't know of anyone else who can bring you back to the present, do you?"

"No, I don't. But, honestly, I haven't really tried. I suppose it's possible that someone else out there has that ability."

"But you don't believe it."

Logan shook his head. Through all the years he never even believed that there was anyway to combat the past lives that had intruded on this one. Even the memories of his past lives he could sense the hopelessness of these memories. A thought occurred to him, and he said it aloud as he realized the feeling of truth behind it.

"In the memories of these other lives, they only go so far, then after a certain point in any of the past lives, they disappear. What if, what if there was someone like you in those lives who could help control the memories, and that is why the memories stop at that particular point?"

"You mean, what if the memories stopped because of someone like me rather than, say, a sudden death of your past self?" Lacey said.

Logan winced at how accurate her assumption had been. "Yes, that's what I was thinking."

Lacey tipped his head to the side, considering. "Well, that might make sense, if the memories of your past lives is intimately tied to you have memories of lives even further back. I'm no expert on these things, but that doesn't seem quite right. Plausible, I guess, but not quite right."

Logan let out a sigh. "I thought so too. I had just hoped..."

"So do a lot of your memories end abruptly?"

Logan looked at her, saw a genuine interest. He was afraid she was mocking her, playing along long enough with the unstable man until she could find a safe retreat. But even though she hadn't taken his telling at face value, she did seem willing to consider it seriously, and not just dismiss it. Another first in Logan's life. Maybe lives, if he could only remember.

"Yes, well, there is a point in my past lives where I have never seen a memory later in the life."

"Is there something common about the lives, some thing that happens before the memories stop?"

Logan managed a wan smile. She was astute, and while he hadn't planned on telling her this much, it seemed like she was determined, or at least interested. He had already taken a gamble in telling her as much as he did, and he still seemed to be okay. If she was the reason that his past memories all ended, or rather, if a person like her in the lives, then he realized he probably had already said too much. A little more information wouldn't hurt any more at this point.

"In my lives, all of them, including this one - I feel that something has made me go through all these lives. And I have always searched for it, trying to end the cycle."

"You don't want to be reborn again?" Lacey interrupted.

Logan shook his head without hesitation. "I'd much rather have a single, normal life to live. One that isn't plagued by all these past lives. Even in past lives, in the memories of them, I feel I am fretting about memories of the previous lives."

"I guess that could get old."

"Yes, it gets old really quickly, actually. So I've always searched for a way to break the cycle - using the best knowledge I can find in whatever life it is I've lived. And all my memories of past lives lead up to a point where I think I am near discovering what is the cause - of maybe finally ending the cycle. But after that, the memories stop."

"That makes sense," Lacey said, sitting back on her knees. Logan gave her a questioning look, and she cocked her head to the side. "Well, if you ever got the point where you discovered how to end it all, you wouldn't be here now having these memories all over again, would you?"

Lacey stood up, and started wandering around the room. Logan watched in disbelief. She was right, and the answer was so simple. He had never found the solution in past lives. But why did the memories stop? Was he, in past lives, overwhelmed by the memories of past lives that he no longer existed in that particular present? That would mean, though, that Lacey was unique to this time, this present. Or maybe he had found a Lacey in past lives, and once the torment of previous lives had ended, the emotion that carried forward memories to future lives no longer existed. He sat in silence for several minutes thinking of the ramifications of this simple conversation, wondering how, exactly, his past lives had been encroaching on his life this time.

After a few moments he noticed that Lacey was thoroughly examining his room. Finally she gave an "Ah ha!" and slid his suitcase out from under his bed.

Logan stood, and found his legs still shaky. "Ah ha what?"

Lacey pointed at the suitcase and started over to his closet.

"What are you doing?"

"Packing. Ultimately, I think, it would be better if you came to stay at my place. I have an extra bedroom, and you only appear to have this loft. That might be awkward, though I must say I wouldn't protest. But, your door is also busted, so mine is already safer, until your door is fixed."

"I...what?"

Lacey turned to stare at him. "If you really do have these massive flashbacks to past lives, it really is better for you to be near someone who can actually help you, right? So you're moving in with me."

"Lacey..."

"No, you don't get to protest. Besides, it'll be fun. If it will make you feel better, I can charge you rent or something while you're there."

Logan sank back onto his bed, and realized once again that he really needed to find a job. He was almost overdue with rent on this place, much less being able to afford the things he truly appreciated in life. He put his head in his hands, vaguely aware that they looked more feminine than the remembered. And the ring on the left hand was new. Rather, suddenly, it was normal - it was his wedding band. He heard footsteps shuffling around the room, and knew that his husband would be in in any minute. How was he going to explain that dinner wasn't on the table, that it was a blackened char, because he had lost track of time in memories he couldn't explain.

The footsteps came closer, stopped in front of him, and he shrank back from the person there. There was a touch on his shoulder, and the past retreated. He found himself staring at white sandals. Lacey's voice issued, not a brutal husband "Was that another one?" she asked.

Logan nodded, keeping his head down. At least maybe this time he could keep her from seeing the red in his eyes. She patted his shoulder.

"I thought so. And that is why you're coming with me. I finished packing your bag - please look over it and see if I missed anything you'll need for the first few days."

Logan shook his head. "I'm sure you did a fine job, but do you have a car?"

"No," Lacey said, "But I know several people who do. Why?"

Logan finally looked up at her. He gave his most confident smile -which to him felt like it was a mockery. "I need my nightstand. Please don't ask, but it's very valuable. And if the door is broken..."

Lacey looked at the nightstand, and then back at Logan. She nodded. "I'll call Rocky, no, Lional, and see if he can come over to help grab it." She gave him one more calculating look, then shook her head. "We'll just wait until he gets here," she said, and scooped up her cell phone to call him.

****

Dresden had arrived at Margot's house, unsure what to expect. Kyle opened the door after he had knocked the second time, and Dresden followed him into the entryway. There Kyle stopped, looking as unsure as Dresden felt. Dresden took the opportunity to look around the place, down the hall, and into the living room, which was right off the hallway.

As if suddenly remembering something, Kyle turned to Dresden. "Come with me," he said, and walked hurriedly away. Dresden followed, and found himself in the kitchen. "You can sit down." Kyle said, doing the same.

Dresden sat, and looked around the kitchen. "Where is Margot?" Dresden asked.

"She's changing. It usually takes her a few minutes. We're supposed to wait here."

"Okay," Dresden said. Then he noticed the list on the table. He read through a series of chores around the house, followed by tick marks indicating they had been finished. He was pondering over the "eat lunch" and "wash lunch dishes" that appeared halfway down the list when Margot entered.

"Hello Dresden. I'm glad to see you again."

Dresden hastily stood up, suddenly nervous. "Hi. I hope I'm not disturbing you?"

Margot gave a laugh, and shook her head. "I invited you over. I just needed to change after work - into something more appropriate to helping," she said, indicating the overalls and tee shirt she was wearing.

"I have some fixes around the house, if you don't mind doing manual labor?"

Dresden shook his head. "Don't mind at all. Anything at this point, to get my mind off things."

"Your suspension?"

Dresden gave a small laugh, "That's a good place to start." Somehow he noticed that he wasn't as upset about Guido taking his shoes to open up a shop as he was on the drive over.

"Kyle, please come with us," Margot called out when she realized the blond youth was still in the kitchen. Dresden and Kyle followed Margot into the dinning room. She pointed at the dining room table. There were scuff marks on it, and one of the legs was cracked, and looked ready to split.

"I'd hoped you two could fix it? I wasn't strong enough to help lift the table, and I'm not good with tools," Margot said.

Dresden bent down for a closer look, figuring what needed to be done to make the repair. After a moment he had a list of tools, and Margot said she had all of the items, but she hadn't actually used them. "And I don't trust Kyle with tools without supervision." she added with a wink. Kyle simply grinned at the statement.

"Sure," Dresden said, uncertain if Margot had just insulted her roommate or not. Eager to change the topic he said, "What exactly happened to the table to cause this damage, may I ask?"

"Kyle, go get the tools Dresden needs," Margot said handing the blond boy a list, then turned back to Dresden with a smile. "This is what can happen when you host a dinner party for your friends and think it's fun to invite their pets, too. It was a lovely meal until one of the dogs spotted a litter of kittens that someone had thought to bring, then all hell broke loose."

Dresden gave a low whistle, trying to imagine the scene. Looking again at the table, he tried to picture how the leg got cracked. With a closer look it appeared that there were teeth marks on either side of the crack. "What kind of dog was it," he asked, running a finger over the teeth marks. "It must have been a big one."

Margot put a hand on his shoulder, and bent down to look at the damage. "It was very large, and very aggressive. I think she might have been in heat, which didn't help improve her mood any, as you can imagine."

Dresden nodded. It was suddenly clear how the damage happened. He could practically picture the dog biting the table, trying to knock the kittens off from the safety of the top, where they sat among settings of food. One of the kittens was in the turkey, in his mind. He was so wrapped up in the vision that he didn't notice Kyle's return until he was putting the tools on the table.

Once he was done with the tools, Kyle tapped Dresden on the shoulder. He looked like he was about to say something, but suddenly stopped. His eyes drifted back as he tried to remember, and Dresden smiled to see the boy's lips working out what he had to say. Finally the youth found the words. "Your roommate took your car." He said, and gave a nod.

Dresden felt his eyes get wide. "Excuse me," he called, and ran to the front of the house. Enough time had passed that his car was already down the street. He watched it disappear around the corner, and looking hard for clues, determined the form in it was definitely taller than either Raul or Guido, and it must be Lional. Or someone stealing his car.

He checked his pocket, and found the only set of keys to the car there, and shook his head. Margot caught up with him, and put a hand on his shoulder, guiding him out of the middle of the road. "Is everything okay?" she said

Dresden shook his head, and gave a small laugh. "Well, I guess it is as okay as it ever is. My housemate, probably, just hotwired my car and drove off into the sunset."

"Hot wired?" Margot said in surprise.

"I've got the only keys," Dresden explained, and turned back to the house, his frustration giving him energy. "Let me just get to work on the table, and I'm sure I'll feel better soon. The best I can hope for is that Lional brings it back - but then he's not Guido."

Margot gave a small nod, confusion evident on her face. Dresden was glad she didn't press the issue. Taking his cue from Margot, Dresden gave Kyle detailed instructions on what help he needed. It was growing dark by the time they finished, and righted the table.

Wiping the sweat from his brow, Dresden wandered back into the kitchen. "It still needs to be stained, to cover the spots of filler we put in on the teeth marks, but the repairs are all done."

Margot gave Dresden a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you," she said, and indicated for him to sit down. "I made dinner while you two were working. I figure we can discuss other tasks and how much I'll pay you after we eat."

Dresden blinked down at Margot, and then felt a smile spread across his face, even as he felt it flush slightly. "Sure. After dinner is fine. Let me just clean up," he said, and excused himself to the bathroom, whistling all the way.