I Do: A Play in One Act

I Do

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Setting: A Holiday Inn room, in Normal Illinois. It is furnished with one double bed, a table, and two chairs. There is one door to outside hallway, on to bathroom. It is a typical hotel room.

Time: Present

Characters:
DR. WESLEY NEWELL- 38 years old, uncertain of his place in life. He has a commonplace appearance. He has glasses that he only wears for reading and lectures. Professor of Psychology at nearby university. Has a secret attraction to SAMANTHA, but is getting married in the morning.

SAMANTHA CASINGS- 24 year old stripper. She is an attractive psychology student who is very sure of herself, and has an air of always fitting in, no matter where she is. Her confidence is the kind that inspires others. She is very outgoing, but ready for anything.

SAMANTHA
On the phone
Tammy, hi…Yeah I’m on the job…No it’s not really okay…no no don’t worry Hon, I’m safe. Is Mister Davis in…No? I didn’t think so. You know we really should know who we’re hired for. … Yeah, that’s the problem…. One of my professors, his brother hired me for his bachelor party. … No, it’s dispersed already. Doctor Newell dragged me away from the main party to his room, to much cheering…I don’t know. I should be able to take care of myself if he tries anything funny. I think his brother and friends thought we were one of those “escort” joints, a little more service for the dollar. … Listen, I’ll call back in 15 minutes if it’s all okay. If you don’t hear from me can you page Mr. Davis “9-1-1”…I’m sure. Thanks Hon. Gotta go, take care.

WESLEY walks in from bathroom, wearing a robe over boxer shorts sits in chair by table. He plugs in the portable stereo that SAMANTHA brought, and turns on the “dancing music” and waits. SAMANTHA makes sure it’s all safe, starts up the strip show where she had left off. All his actions in the next segment are clumsy and obviously in-experienced, but trying to impress SAMANTHA.

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WESLEY
As Samantha strips
So, Miss Casings, you are a “lady of the night.” I would not have expected such an occupation from a student.

SAMANTHA
I am a strip-dancer, Doctor Newell, nothing more.

WESLEY
Standing
You’re not saying that being a stripper is more respectable than being an “ordinary call girl”, are you?

SAMANTHA
I certainly am.

WESLEY
I see no difference.

SAMANTHA
With all due respect, Doctor Newell, I only dance. I do not...engage myself any further with my clients.

WESLEY
So this is out of the limits.

(Flings her down on bed, pins her under him, holding one wrist, and puts his other hand on her chest.)

SAMANTHA
It is not our policy to let clients touch the performers. So, yes, this is unacceptable.

WESLEY
Not stopping.
I see.

SAMANTHA
You are getting married in the morning.

WESLEY
Isn’t there an unspoken ritual, the groom gets one last fling as a bachelor. Mark, my brother, said that’s why he hired you.

(Removing hand from her chest, caresses her face with it)

SAMANTHA
Doctor Newell, I’m your student!

WESLEY
A student who is doing very poorly in my class. You are hardly ever there. Yes Miss Casings, I noticed. I check for you every day. You can’t expect to get an “A” if you keep up this behavior. Maybe we could count this as extra credit?

SAMANTHA
You don’t want to do anything you’ll regret in the morning.

WESLEY
(Grabs her other wrist)
Oh, I won’t regret this. You won’t either, how does an “A” sound?
(He moves in to kiss her)

SAMANTHA
Doctor Newell, please stop.

WESLEY
You mean you don’t find a good grade in my class an attractive offer?
(He kisses her)

SAMANTHA
No.

WESLEY
I’m not attractive to you, is that the problem? We can fix that, just close your eyes and imagine that I am, I don’t know, Leonardo DeCaprio, or, or your boyfriend.

SAMANTHA
Stop.

WESLEY
Through gritted teeth, desperate or defeated
I can’t.

SAMANTHA
You can’t?

WESLEY
No. You don’t underst…I have to do this.

(Moves back in on herSAMANTHA closes her eyes, and grits her teeth, prepared for the worst, as he tries to remove his robe while kissing (etc) her. He can’t manage both undressing and being involved.)

Damn-it, how does this work? Calm down, Wesley, Mark said to…Shit.

(He sits up, trying to undo the double knot he tied in his bathrobe tie.

SAMANTHA opens her eyes to see what is going on and tries to scoot out from underneath him, while scanning the room for potential help, how far the phone is from her, etc.

WESLEY finally gets the two knots undone, and turns his attention back to SAMANTHA, preventing her from actually getting free.)

WESLEY
Now, where were we?

SAMANTHA
You were trying to rape me.

WESLEY
Puts his hand over her mouth.
Don’t say that! That is not what I’m trying to do. I’m just trying to, Mark said that I could use this as, I just. No. Not rape. I just need, I’ve never done this before.

SAMANTHA
Rape someone?

WESLEY
No! Not Rape!…I haven’t…it’s…it’s no use. Just go.

(He gets off of her, and sits in a chair with his face cupped in his hands.

SAMANTHA gets up, visibly shaken, and carefully picks up her clothes, and starts getting dressed.

WESLEY looks up at her as she is turned away, takes a deep breath and says)

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I’m a virgin.

SAMANTHA
Turns around
What?

WESLEY
I said that…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…

SAMANTHA
That’s not what you said.

WESLEY
No.

SAMANTHA
Are you really? I mean, how old are you?

WESLEY
I’m Thirty-eight.

SAMANTHA
And you’re really a…

WESLEY
Yes. I… Mark said he hired you so that I could, so that I wouldn’t embarrass myself tomorrow night.

SAMANTHA
You really are a virgin, aren’t you?

WESLEY
Look, how much do we owe you, I mean for the dancing. I’ll pay you, then you should leave.

SAMANTHA
I was supposed to be a practice run, is that it?

WESLEY
No…Sort of. I didn’t mean to hurt you, did I hurt you?

SAMANTHA
Rubbing wrists
A little, but that’s not the point.

WESLEY
You, you can’t tell anyone. Please, I mean, I didn’t mean to… I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.

SAMANTHA
Sorry is not enough.

WESLEY
If anyone finds out about this I’ll be fired. Why did it have to be you, I mean, anyone else and I might have… but you.

SAMANTHA
Doctor Newell...

WESLEY
You can’t tell anyone, I’d be...I’ll make sure you can afford school, an assistantship. Yes, I’ll give you an assistantship if you promise not to tell anyone.

SAMANTHA
Doctor Newell, an assistantship is not going to make this situation any better.

WESLEY
I was just trying to... I mean my mother was overbearing, and I blame her, but that’s no reason for what I did. I just didn’t want to look foolish tomorrow… I just…

SAMANTHA
You don’t suppose Maggie’s a… without experience too?

WESLEY
What?

SAMANTHA
Is that why you’re worried? You’re afraid she’ll see that you don’t know what you are doing.

WESLEY
You can’t tell her that I…, I’ll give you the position if you don’t. But you said you don’t want it.

SAMANTHA
No. Besides nothing happened. I broke policy when I allowed myself to be taken to an unsupervised situation. If I report anything, It would have to be rape, anything else and its insignificant because I broke policy. You did not rape me, so nothing happened.

WESLEY
But...

SAMANTHA
Nothing. Besides, if I did suddenly end up with an assistantship out of the blue, people will assume you were hiding something.

WESLEY
But I didn’t...?

SAMANTHA
No. So drop it, okay?
(She finishes getting dressed.)

(Awkward silence)
WESLEY
What made you choose to stri… um, study psychology?

SAMANTHA
Sarcastic
My overbearing mother.

WESLEY
I’m sorry.

(SAMANTHA finishes getting her things, goes to get radio, Wesley grabs her wrist, then lets go.)

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I’m sorry. I’m not trying to use her as an excuse.

(SAMANTHA grabs radio)

She was overbearing. Very Religious, and didn’t like me dating. She felt she lost out on Mark, and that he was beyond salvation by the age of 12. My dad had walked out the year before, so she clinged to me as her last hope. Mark would bring home anyone, and my mom would ignore him, but if I brought home a girl to study with, I didn’t hear the end of it
.
SAMANTHA
Sounds unfair.

WESLEY
It was. It put a lot of stress on me. She kept putting me down whenever I tried to be with a girl. She not only insisted that no girl was good enough for me, but also managed to convince me in the process that I would not be good enough for any girl if I so much as talked too much with another girl. I was to save myself for the girl I married, but I ended up not finding anyone, as I was afraid to date. Of course things got worse for me when Mark ran away in High School to live at his girlfriends house. Not that I really blame him from trying to get out of that environment, but it left me to deal with my mom, and all her shit. So that’s a big factor as to why I’m a, without experience.

SAMANTHA
Your mom.

WESLEY
My mom convinced me I wasn’t good enough for any woman. From the way she acted, I was convinced that if I even looked at girls I’d break her heart, and she’d bring it out on me.

(Realizing what he’s said, he defensively slips into lecturer mode)

It’s hard to work through such complex problems, built up over so many years. As I’ve mentioned in class

SAMANTHA
My brother.

WESLEY
What?

SAMANTHA
Setting down her things.
I study psychology because of my brother.

WESLEY
Your brother?

SAMANTHA
After my parents divorce he went a little nuts.

WESLEY
I see. You are driven to know what exactly caused this breakdown. I imagine that you would find my class especially interesting and helpful to your personal quest, if you were to show up on a more regular basis. So, your direction in life is driven by the fact that you want to know what happened in his mind that led to his “going a little nuts”.

SAMANTHA
Yes. He never seemed to recover from it. Eventually led to depression in his later teens.

WESLEY
That is one of the many effects of a traumatic experience can have on a child. How old was he exactly?

SAMANTHA
Nine.

WESLEY
And how old were you at the time of your parent’s divorce?

SAMANTHA
Fourteen.

WESLEY
I see.

SAMANTHA
Then, one summer, he just, lost it. He. He… drove off an overpass.

WESLEY
I’m. Sorry.

(Awkward moment, he hugs her. She gathers herself.)

SAMANTHA
But I was fine. The divorce didn’t affect me that way. I worked through it with Mister Brown.

WESLEY
Mister Brown? Was he your Priest? A School Counselor?

SAMANTHA
My teddy bear. When it happened I let out all my feelings to this stupid bear and my brother didn’t have that. I can’t help but wonder if I was talking with Chad and not Mister Brown that it may have let him heal too.

WESLEY
Being that young, and going through the traumatic experience yourself, you probably didn’t know what pre-suicide warnings to look for. It’s not your fault.

SAMANTHA
No, it’s not, but I want to understand more about why these things happen, in our minds. I want to help prevent this in other families. It destroyed ours.
(Collapsing back into his arms)

WESLEY
(Starts off rattling off lecture from class)
Often times a traumatic experience in childhood, such as a divorce, can lead to major depression. When a person is in depression he can suffer from learned helplessness and a loss of self-esteem. In the case of divorce the latter is common, because if there are no warning signs of the pending divorce it may seem to the child, who fail to see any reason for their parents splitting apart, that it is their fault. They blame themselves, which can cause…

SAMANTHA
(Laughing through her tears)
Thanks Doctor Newell, I was there that day, even took notes.

WESLEY
(Hugs her and says quietly)
I don’t mind if you want to call me Wesley.

SAMANTHA
Wesley. You can call me Samantha, Wesley. So tomorrow you’ll be Doctor and Missus Wesley Newell. Doctor and Missus.

WESLEY
Turning way
Yes. And Missus. You won’t tell Maggie about what I didn’t do, will you?

SAMANTHA
I already told you I wouldn’t.

WESLEY
Thank you Miss—Samantha. Thank you. I don’t think she’d be able to handle the fact that I intended to lose my virginity to someone else the day before I married her.

SAMANTHA
Is that why you studied psychology-because of your overbearing mother?

WESLEY
What? Oh, um, yes. Partially. Also, I felt I could make more of my life if I educated myself. My mom wanted me to work in the local factory, keep me close to her. Actually telling her I was moving away to study was a difficult situation for me, but I followed my heart, and the advice of my high school psychology teacher, and pursued my Ph.D. Much like I imagine you did since your brother’s…since the divorce.

SAMANTHA
Yeah, I knew in my heart this is what I had to do. Even if it means stripping.

WESLEY
Pardon?

SAMANTHA
I only strip to pay for school. I’m not self-conscious about it, and it makes good money.

WESLEY
So this is the working-through-college job experience for you. Just couldn’t see yourself flipping burgers or being a supermarket cashier, eh?

SAMANTHA
Too time demanding for too little money, especially for Grad. School. This job is good because it’s only in the night. Doesn’t interfere with classes and pays well.

WESLEY
I assume your absentee tendencies in my class lie in the fact that this…job… keeps you out late and you are unable to get up on time for the grueling morning commute for and eight-thirty class…

SAMANTHA
Something like that.

WESLEY
If you did get a position at the university, an assistantship, let’s say, you wouldn’t have to worry about it. Perhaps you are applicable for a scholarship. The Bell Scholarship, for instance. The qualifying essays are due next month, but I’m sure you can pull it off.

SAMANTHA
Much like I “pull off” my clothes for men?

WESLEY
No pun intended. Honest.

SAMANTHA
Sure Wesley, I believe it.

WESLEY
Hey…

SAMANTHA
So, How’d you meet the Missus-Newell-to-be. I heard she was a student, too.

WESLEY
Margaret Dawson. Yes, she’s in my class with you.

SAMANTHA
Maggie Dawson. Yeah, I know her. Let me guess, you saw her in class and it was love at first sight.

Sometime during his story about how he met Maggie, though not right away, SAMANTHA finds hotel stationary and the bible in the table by the bed. He ends up lying on the bed, and she in the chair, taking notes, using the bible as a lap desk. It looks like a cliché psychiatric session.

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WESLEY
Uncomfortable with what she said
No. It wasn’t like that with her. Actually she showed up at my office hours. Of course I had noticed her in class, but nor more than any other regularly present, non-participatory student. Unlike you, she was always there, and also unlike you, she never spoke up in class. Thank you adding your two-cents worth in class, when you show up.

SAMANTHA
No problem. So she showed up at your office…

WESLEY
Yes. Actually, I came to find out she also has a personal stake in the subject. Apparently many of us who are studying the psychology of family relationships are coming from less-than-happy-homes. The situation with your brother,

SAMANTHA
Your overbearing mother…

WESLEY
Yes, and her overbearing father. The man has some interesting beliefs about what women are and aren’t capable of in this world. If you listen to him, Maggie shouldn’t even be in graduate school, because women are not capable of holding a “professional” job, and all women need a strong man in their life to provide for them, or else become accustomed to just “getting by”. Completely opposite of my Mom. My Mother would probably tear her dad apart for putting too much praise on her. Anyway, when she showed up at my office I wasn’t completely surprised. She wasn’t doing well on the exams and never made eye contact with me in class, even when I directed a question to her.

SAMANTHA
Sounds like she took what her father said to heart.

WESLEY
Yes, quite. So much so that she was allowing him to push her closer and closer to the edge. She came in to ask about some assigned readings, and by the time she left she had confessed to me that she was contemplating suicide. I was worried that she might loose the confidence I was able to help her find, so I set up weekly sessions with her, as a cautionary measure. Unlike you, she is unable to handle problems alone. She needs someone to support her. Sessions were awkward at first, any contact I had with women was still nerve-wracking.

SAMANTHA
Seeing her every week allowed for a love to grow between you, right?

WESLEY
I did get to know her better. For a while things were really rough for her, so she started visiting me at home, and we would just spend hours talking. I found that as we meet more frequently, she seemed to be improving. It made me feel better that I could help her. Eventually she even stood up to her father, told him that she was smart enough to pursue a real “professional” job, and that despite his protests, she was going to go for her Ph.D. Seems that I was the extra boost of strength that she needed.
(He appears to be done with his story)

SAMANTHA
You provide strength for her.

WESLEY
Yes.

SAMANTHA
And from this feeling of being needed by her, you grew to fall in love with her.

WESLEY
Um, yes. Although her father is all for her getting married to, and depending on, a strong man, which is how he sees me, I think that our getting married is not against her best wishes. My mom even approves of her, now. Not that I care whether she does or not. In fact, that should turn me off of this all, as an act of rebellion and breaking further away from my Mothers control over me. In theory you may say that she needs to fully break the rules established by her father if she is to find and develop her own identity, but I seem to provide a much needed essence in her life. I’m sure a friend would have sufficed, but not a bear, she’s not that strong. But she came to me when she was…in doubt about her desire to live, and so I have filled the void in her

SAMANATHA
What it sounds like you are saying, to me, is that you really don’t want to marry her.

WESLEY
But I do. I do.

SAMANATHA
You just said you don’t love her.

WESLEY
I do love her.

SAMANATHA
Why would anyone go into a marriage-a legally binding state, (she takes bible in hand, pondering it) of holiest matrimony—are you religious?

WESLEY
Baptist.

SAMANATHA
…knowing he didn’t love his wife.

WESLEY
One wouldn’t. I told you, I love her.

SAMANATHA
No. You told me you were concerned for her. That you thought you were good for her. There is a difference between caring and loving.

WESLEY
Of course there is.

SAMANATHA
Have you ever really been in love?

WESLEY
I just said that I love--

SAMANATHA
No. I mean Love. Real Love. The kind that makes you so nervous you forget to eat. The kind of love that makes you smile to just hear her voice. The kind of love from fairy tales.

WESLEY
Have you?

SAMANATHA
Not yet, but I know I will.

WESLEY
How do you know?

SAMANATHA
Have you ever felt this way?

WESLEY
Well, I… sort of.

SAMANATHA
Amused
Sort of. Okay. I’ll take that. Sort of felt true love. An interesting trick I must say. Sort of.

WESLEY
It’s just that…I can’t.

SAMANATHA
You can’t what?

WESLEY
I’m getting married to Maggie tomorrow, and I… I can’t.

SAMANATHA
You are saying that you love someone else.

WESLEY
Please…

SAMANATHA
You don’t love Maggie, but you’re marrying her. You love someone else--

WESLEY
Wait…

SAMANATHA
No. It’s none of my business. I shouldn’t pry. I just wanted to—

WESLEY
Wait.

SAMANATHA
…trying to help you…

WESLEY
I love…

SAMANATHA
You don’t have to tell me. Look, I’m sorry. I’ll just go.

WESLEY
I love, have affection for-love, no, well. (sigh) It’s you. I love you.

SAMANATHA
Well.

WESLEY
It’s your voice.

SAMANATHA
I took voice lessons.

WESLEY
And the way you move.

SAMANATHA
Dance.

WESLEY
And your insight. Since the first day in class…

SAMANATHA
You don’t love me.

WESLEY
I don’t?

SAMANATHA
No. You are grateful. You appreciate my help, and my listening--

WESLEY
No.

SAMANATHA
You don’t?

WESLEY
I love you.

SAMANATHA
You can’t.

WESLEY
I know.

SAMANATHA
You shouldn’t.

WESLEY
I do.

SAMANATHA
I don’t.

WESLEY
I know.

SAMANTHA
Quietly
While having one last fling the night before your wedding is a tradition, declaring your love to someone else is not.

WESLEY
I suppose not.

SAMANTHA
If you don’t love her, you shouldn’t marry her. It won’t work. (Takes from one of his lectures, imitating him) A relationship without love is nonsense. It only serves to destroy both parties involved. If a person goes into a committed relationship without love, and claiming “I can learn to love him”, they are deluding themselves. Feelings like that can’t change. They won’t change, and the relationship will end up…

WESLEY
Little defeated laugh
I recognize those words.

SAMANTHA
I learned them from someone who knew what he was talking about.

WESLEY
I guess it wouldn’t be fair to Maggie for me to marry her. But it would devastate her, may even push her over the edge. It could ruin her fragile self-esteem.

SAMANTHA
Marrying her wouldn’t be fair to you.

WESLEY
I’m not getting any younger.

SAMANTHA
You don’t have to be married to be happy.

WESLEY
I’d like to be. Maybe I’m just marrying the wrong student...
(SAMANTHA in disbelief as he goes on one knee)
Maybe we can work things out.

SAMANTHA
Feelings don’t change.

WESLEY
Getting up
No, then

SAMANTHA
We can be nothing more than professor and student.

WESLEY

(Uncomfortable silence. He starts to arrange his stuff, packing things back in his suitcase. She sits and watches.)

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Go to my office on Monday and pick up an application for an assistantship position. Fill it out and bring it to my office. The deadline was today, but if you turn it in Monday I’ll consider it with the others.

SAMANTHA
So you are going to be in your office on Monday?

WESLEY
Pained look
Cancun. I’m using a week of paid leave. Professor Sanders will be taking my classes.

SAMANTHA
I see.

WESLEY
The position doesn’t start until next semester, but if you are willing to come in and do some research for me, I can give you money from my grant.

SAMANTHA
What?

WESLEY
Finishes packing
You don’t mind dealing with stuffy books, I hope. I promise I won’t make you work too hard for the money. (Obvious attempt at a joke.)

SAMANTHA
This isn’t a good idea.

WESLEY
Neither is stripping. You can get into dangerous situations.

SAMANTHA
And this wouldn’t be a dangerous situation?

WESLEY
What danger can there be, I’ll be a married man.

SAMANTHA
But your feelings…

WESLEY
Feelings change.

SAMANTHA
They do?

WESLEY
Hopeful
Yes.

(He takes her hands in his, Stare in each other eyes, lean forward…)

SAMANTHA
Mine won’t.

(She kisses him on the cheek)

WESLEY
Then mine will have to. Good night.
(He tries to kiss her, she won’t let him, so he kisses back of her hand, and escorts her out.)