Memories- Short Story

Memories

1 - October 2004

Based on the writing challenge:
Write 400 words (or more) including the phrase
"Let's just leave, just walk out the door and not look back."

The walls of the basement room had been painted purple. Track lighting had been installed so that little pools of light hit the floor about five feet apart. In each of these individual spotlights was a yoga mat. I tried to get a mat near Hollie, that's why we arrived early, but the instructor would have none of that.

She called herself Madame Rose. A large semi-shear pink scarf wrapped around her arms and torso, and completely failed to hide the blue tank top she wore underneath. "My darlings," she said, as she made shooing motions toward Hollie, who was trying to sit next to me. "The vibes that surround you must not be vibes from your daily life. If your life tries to beat its way in, your meditation will leave you more drained than refreshed."

Hollie rolled her eyes at me, then turned to follow the already moving Madame across the room. When she was finally settled, and Madame Rose was greeting other new students, I turned to give her an apologetic smile. Hollie only came along because I'd been too chicken to come on my own. She thought, perhaps rightfully so, this class was bullshit. She humored me, though, I think because she didn't know how else to comfort me.

Madame Rose sat down on a mat on a small platform in the front of the room. At some point two assistants had arrived, and they were putting covers on the gaudy gold incense burners. The fragrant smoke poured out of hole in the top of the burners, carved in the shape of what looked to be spherical cats.

Madame Rose started listing the incense in the burners, two in each, and detailing the properties of each. "Breathe them in deep, my darlings, and picture the smoke filling in all the space in your brains. Let it soothe away the worries, and play in the happy memories of your youth."

She took in a big, almost gasping, breath, like a chronic smoker struggling to get oxygen. I obediently took a breath, echoing her, as did the rest of the class.

I looked around, briefly, and saw most of the others in the room were female, with only a few younger looking men interspersed. Most of the girls were dressed like me, comfortable casual, although mine was the only Hard Rock tee shirt in the place. Most had words like "Princess" or "Tease" stretched out provocatively across their breasts.

"Now, darlings, I want you to make a "oh" with your mouth," crooned Madame Rose. "Beautiful. Now gently close your lips and let out sound, like a hum, but with your mouth still open on the inside."

The room filled with an array of pitches of hum as we obeyed. Each new breath brought the hums into closer pitch, until after a few breaths we were all humming at the same pitch.

"Now, my darlings close your eyes and let the sound and the smoke carry away your worries. Focus on the sound. Other thoughts may try to push in, but gently turn them away. They are distractions."

I tried to shut out the outside sounds, to focus on my voice. After a few moments, I was simply being. The worries of my day - the internship I didn't get, the piles of laundry, the grocery shopping - all gone. And for a moment I was happy.

A distant voice told me there was a chest in front of me. I looked, and there was. There was something important in the chest, the voice said. Some memory waiting. I trusted the voice. In my minds eye I opened the chest.

Darkness flooded out.

I felt hands pressed down on my wrists. My fingers were cold, circulation had been cut off. Gravel bit into my back, and I could taste blood. The voice of Madame Rose was gone, replaced by a deeper voice I had tried to bury in my mind. With each threat that it made, the voice grew more crazed. More gleeful.

The voice mixed in with other sounds. Nearby traffic. Voices and TV shows drifting out from open windows in the distance. I struggled against the pressure holding me down. Flinched at the tongue that licked away the blood that ran down my face. I tried to kick, but strong legs had me pinned between them. Then one of those legs locked into one of mine, and forced my legs apart.

I could hear screaming. And a concerned voice. I opened my eyes and realized I was the one screaming. Hollie knelt in front of me, her arms reaching out as if she wanted to touch me, but she was afraid. I started to sob, and Hollie gathered me up in her arms, and started rocking a little. Through watery eyes I saw my classmates staring at me, perfectly still in their little spotlights, as if moving may cause me to scream again. One or two turned a cautious head for guidance from Madame Rose. She still sat there on her mat in the front of the class, humming with a serene smile on her face. One of her attendants was trying to get her attention, to no avail.

"I told you this was a bad idea," murmured Hollie. I numbly nodded, and let her help me stand. She looked at Madame Rose who was blissfully unaware, then shot a challenging glare to the rest of the class. She carefully kept her eyes from me, both of us knowing if I saw her face I'd loose the little control over my emotions I had gained, she said "Let's just leave, just walk out the door and not look back."

I nodded again, and we picked our way through the mats, and out the door. And as much as I wanted to, I knew there were some memories you don't get to leave behind.